It’s been an overwhelmingly wonderful, fast and exhausting two months. I clearly recall moments of joy, success and productivity, but I also remember a kind of stasis, lethargy and a sense of just SO much going on that it made me want to cry.
Some of the lows:
- Le Mari got the mumps. Yes, MUMPS. As if any grown person who has already received the vaccine in this new century in the western world would get that. Well apparently there are some cases in Canada and it looks like he was one, according to all the symptoms. Fortunately, like chicken pox, he just had to ride it out and after 5 days of being quarantined, it passed and he was fine, and we in the household were all fine. But it threw a week off its normal track and made for serious discomfort and misshapen-ness around the house.
- Projects at the office sometimes just…stalled. I think I felt discouraged because the obstacles seemed bureaucratic, unnecessarily existing because of practices implemented 25 years ago that CLEARLY need updating for the current day. Yeah, there were a couple of moments like this in the recent weeks.
- Oh, the state of the house. Enough said.
- Oh, the state of my thesis. I was on a roll, on a roll, then hit a bump, wrestled a bit, then a while, then opened that darn Archive of Our Own fanfiction Avengers Marvel universe fandom, and then got sucked in and…KAPUT. Days of engaging in an incredibly articulated fictional world of superheroes, alternative plots and some very great writing.
- The actual, dumb struggle of feeling like a suck in not being the kind of mom that engages her son in the activities that 5-year old boys are clearly supposed to be doing, if a glance around me was any indication – i.e. ALL of le Petit’s peers in soccer or baseball – and I, being so caught up in our tasks and daily life completely MISSED ALL DEADLINES for the entire year for these team activities. I never thought I’d see the day that I would rue NOT being a soccer mom, but I felt like I had missed out on providing him with something very key for his age group and development.
Some of the highs:
- Got over the soccer mom struggle fairly quick. A second glance around me showed that families could choose to put their kids in the kind of activities that engage their sons and daughters in healthy, socially encouraging and developmental play – like team sports. Yes, I would LOVE le Petit to play. Yes, I would love him to learn to engage in team activities. But at the same time, WE were and are not ready for the commitment that sports leagues in Kamloops, and everywhere else in North American suburbia I imagine, requires – practice + games twice, sometimes thrice weekly, special events, weekends devoted to league activities, and if your child is good, away games, not to mention the equipment, the drives, the fundraisers and the precise scheduling that is needed to manage this lifestyle. Well, GREAT for people who can manage this, but at this time, we cannot. When I realized this, my sense of not quite achieving what I thought I should be doing as a mom vanished. (We decided to encourage le Petit to try out karate next month).
- SPRING. At looooong last.
- Some, if very sparse, practice with the Sony NEX camera (I remembered my promise to Le Mari)
- A beautiful Easter choir and performance of A Tale of Three Trees by 15 or so children, ages 5-12, at Summit Drive Church, in which le Petit took part. One dedicated, super-loving lady took on this project out of love of music and teaching, and she lead, encouraged, and spurred these kids on to bravery and performance in a musical that had a wonderful message.
- Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Need I say more?
- Serious progress on my thesis: the section on mobility and the research method has been fleshed out, the literature been covered. Very happy to cover these sections, and also IMPRESSED with the scholars and the research happening in the cross-disciplinary field of mobility.
Well, last night, I went for a quick after dinner walk with le Petit in our neighbourhood. Ironically, we went for a walk in a field that was beside school ground where 2 soccer teams were practicing. It was a gorgeous evening, my first one out with just a short-sleeve T, though I brought as sweater. I didn’t need it in the warm evening air, but oh, did we make good use of it.
Le Petit took my sweater and ran with it. Then he flew. And soared. And then landed back to earth. What a GLORIOUS reminder of how things are.